Sharp sorrow. Painful regret.

I just found out my dog, Fluffy, had to put to sleep last Thursday. My parents decided not to tell me until now. She had been living at my grandparent’s house because it wasn't safe at our house for her; coyotes had attacked her twice, so we moved her. I'm not totally distraught, I think this is because I knew she was old and sick and her time was coming. I just didn’t want to admit it or accept it. I’m really upset that she’s gone now, I really love her, and I will miss her so much. She was a good dog, very loyal and obedient, and always so excited to see me come home.

I really wanted to take her up to the mountain for a walk, but I never got around to it, and when I did she was sick and I couldn’t put her through that. But I bet she would have really enjoyed a walk on the mountain and I really regret not being able to take her.

I also regret not being there to say goodbye. My grandparents were the ones who took her to the vet for the last time, and with Fluffy being my dog I would of wanted to be there with her. But no one bothered to tell me they were taking her. I suppose that’s for the best, it would of hurt more to say goodbye.

I remember her favorite tricks were beg and shake. She started begging all the time, just on her own, and she was so cute, you couldn’t resist giving her something. And she gave a really good handshake. And she would come whenever I called her, immediately, she would even come when I snapped for her. She was really good.  I hope she lived a good life. I hope she knows that I love her and that I am really, really, really, missing her.