November is Crazy! + a new puppy!

November has been a busy month! It’s been non-stop every day. First off I went to phoenix because my dad had a meeting at Petsmart HQ (that’s weird, I know) on our way there we had a tire blow out, that wasn’t fun. We didn’t stay long in Phoenix, right after my dads meeting was over we went to California for Disney land, church service and my dad had to attend a Vision Meeting for the church. I got to see the Bishop and District Elder again!! I had pictures but I'm not going to post them. It gets better, I was allowed to eat dinner with them too ☺ originally it was just ministers and wives of the Vision group dinner but when the Deccan from Phoenix couldn’t make it my sister and I were invited. It was a wonderful night out. The next morning my sister, mom, and myself drove to Anaheim to spend the day at Disney land again while my dad was at the meeting.

Back home again it was school as usual. Since Fluffy passed away we have been looking to get my Grandparents a new dog and we found one the Friday before Thanks giving. He is a cream and white Lhasa Apso male, his name in Tron. He is so cute!

    him playing with his favorite horse toy

Our family eats thanksgiving dinner the Sunday before thanksgiving because that’s when we have the thanksgiving church service, and it allows my family to keep our 20-year tradition of going to Disneyland for thanksgiving. Yup, we went to Disney Land again. This time for 5 days. We did something different too, we ate thanksgiving dinner there, they have this “Thanksgiving day feast” and oh my goodness it was a feast. I ate too much. Way too much. The food was amazing!

                                                      this was the dining hall with four buffet stations 0_0


After, my family and myself could barley walk so we went to see a movie and digest ha ha, we saw Arthur Christmas, such a cute movie! I loved it. I just got back Sunday (11/27) night. I'm glad to be back, I really missed Tron and my bed. Things are almost back to normal except for the fact that my Dad left for Utah Monday morning, for another meeting, so I wont be seeing him again for another week. But after that, things will be normal… except for Christmas is coming soon and I have to prepare the house for gusts and practice for the Christmas program at church. Then things will calm down... except for going on my grandpas birthday cruise and traveling to Canada for Day of the youth, then I’m back in California for a youth retreat… it just never stops. But that’s a good thing.

Finished my Book

The Forgotten Legion by Ben Kane

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This is a ‘complicated’ five star rating for this book. Ben tells a good story with a unique point of view not seen in many books set in this time period. The story has an obvious plot and the book is well organized. My main concern and issue about this book was that little effort was put into creating a connection between the characters and the reader, in my opinion this is a fatal mistake. If the reader does not care about the characters the reader wont care what happens to the characters and wont really enjoy the book. This rating is complicated because Conn Iggulden’s books are 5 stars hands down, and Ben’s book didn’t come near Conn’s in quality but it was still a great read, worthy of 5 stars only because of the plethora of books worthy of 3 or 4 stars under Ben’s book. The plot didn’t really pick up until the end, the last four chapters had me unable to put the book down, the rest of the book kind of dragged on. I do appreciate the length of the book, 525 pages, but he could of put more into those pages…

Another thing I didn’t really like about the book was that you had to use the provided glossary in the back. I love that Ben used Latin words just as the Romans would of used and he used them in the same context as the Romans, but he used them too much. I didn’t like reading a chapter only to have to stop at this unknown Latin word and have to flip to the back of the book to find the meaning. Sometimes I would have to flip back three or four times a chapter. Five or six Latin words would be ideal but seven pages of Latin words in the glossary is a bit much.

All in all I will be reading the second book in this series and then the third. Its good enough to continue the series.

My Photo Book

This is a photo book i made on shuterfly.com about my Europe trip that i had the privilege of going on this summer, i hope to get it made :) Enjoy!

(lets play "how many times you can spot Amber in her basketball shirt!")

Click here to view this photo book larger

Turn your favorite photos into a photo book at Shutterfly.com.

Back from service held in Phoenix

     I made it back from Phoenix; I love Phoenix J I would never want to live there, but I LOVE to visit. Great family time, these weekend trips. So I went up with Chris, a member of youth, and his mom and grandma, it was a pleasant journey, short too, only 2 hours. We arrived, checked into there hotel, hung out for half an hour, then my parents arrived from Vegas and picked my sister and I up and took us to check into our hotel. After we settled we went out for dinner (the café down stairs) we were having a great time at dinner, every one was in a good mood, then retired Priest and Sister Klien from El Paso walked in, so they joined us for dinner as well, we are all great friends with them, so we chatted a while and ate a good meal.

     After dinner my sister and I discovered the meeting place where all the Apostles on up were gathering for there mandatory dinner/lecture with the District Apostle so we hung out right outside the door and took our pictures with as many high ranked minsters we could. We only found two, we saw plenty of deacons, rectors and priests but most of the higher ups were already seated, we did find the Bishop Whited, and the Apostle Schmitt!

 i PROMISE you that i didn't plan on wearing my basketball shirt again! why do i wear it all the time?

     Come Sunday we had a beautiful service held by the District Apostle Kolb. Towards the end of service the fire alarm went off! Thankfully it was only a false alarm, BUT while we were evacuating the building I had the opportunity to shake the District Apostles hand :D believe it or not, even evacuating was fun, the Bishop is such a goof, he comes running over with my sister saying “Quick! Lets get one [photo] in front of the fire truck!” ha ha

     After service things settled down, I guess there was an apostle from back east that has never been to In & Out Burger and the Bishop was all “W-wh-what?!” so my dad took them both to In & Out :P 

After we were invited to the District Evangelist’s house for supper. Then we headed home again. Great weekend! 

I dont really know what to say...

     Yesterday morning at 7:05 am Priest Hunt, a retired priest from my church, passed away. His daughters and sister were on the phone with my dad almost through the whole night, I listened in for most of it, he was being moved to the ICU but I thought he would be okay, I thought he would pull through. I knew he had to pull through. But he didn’t. I was shocked when I woke up the next morning to hear the bad news. It makes me think back to the last time I saw him, there’s a lot of ‘I wish’s’ I wish I took the time to shake his hand one last time, I wish I spoke to him more that last Sunday morning, I wish…

     He was a professional opera singer and he would sing ever once in a while with the piano or flute in accompaniment, man he had a voice that carried, he was good, real good. He reminded me of Abraham Lincoln, tall skinny and he had the same face, I always had a liking towards him and his talents even though I didn’t know him for very long.

     I suppose he went at a good time, service for the departed in in two weeks, i'm going to play a selection on the violin just for him, and this Sunday there’s a huge district service in Phoenix that I will be attending, the Bishop, District Apostle,  along with every Apostle in the country will be there, so prayers from them would be good.

     I'll be traveling to the service with my fellow youth member because my parents are in Vegas, they will meet me in Phoenix. I always enjoy trips to Phoenix, it’s a mini vacation, even if its only a day and a half, the ‘half’ day being primarily service. Last time I went to Phoenix with my family my dad actually took me to the aquarium, just him and me! Ill admit I was a little surprised he offered to take me, especially it being just the two of us, I can’t remember the last time it was just the two of us. It was so much fun! There probably wont be any time for things like that this time around, but good things often happen on trips to Phoenix ☺

(aw, that's funny, I ended this entry with a smile)

Finished my book

Art & Fear: Observations on the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking by David Bayles

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I read this book as requirement for part of my art class; I found it a surprisingly easy read. It talks of the challenges todays artists face, it addresses every negative aspect that comes with being an artists, and makes you relies, whether your an artist or not, that you as an individual are full of self doubt. The author uses plenty of helpful examples to prove his point that people (artists especially) are consistently telling themselves their not good enough, some one else’s art is always better, and then the artists are made to believe there frauds. There art isn’t even art. This is not true of course. I found it surprising that David explained the stages and emotion of doubt, failure, and trial and error with such accuracy and detail, David brings you into a realization of yourself, gives you ways to manipulate your brain to seeing your strengths (we all have them believe it or not), and he encourages you all the way to make art. There are definitely lessons to be learned here.

The only reason I did not give this book five stars was because I really had to force my self to finish it. There are plenty of books I would of rather been reading, "Art and Fear" as well written as it is, becomes repetitive in some areas and more than once a chapter was just plain boring. I highly recommend this book to any artist; photographer, sculptor, painter, sower, quilter, basket weaver, and every craft in-between doer, if you’re a master or beginner at your craft, read the book.

Hopes renewed

     I don’t know why, or how it happened, but my family found out I wanted to be an EMT. My dad laughed then told me that the only reason people become EMT’s is because their not smart enough to get a real degree. He honestly doesn’t think It’s the right choice for me. He said if I were to pursue it I would have to get my major in something else. He still wants me in web design….

     But two days later I talked to him as Priest Rix and not Dad, and he was much more helpful

     I talked with my dad about being an EMT and unlike last week when I talked to him about it, he was all for it. He must have been thinking about the decision on his own time. He said if anything it’s a great fall back. And that’s true. And that if I want to be an EMT I should strive to be the best. I only need to take two classes to get my license, but I should take ALL eight of the classes to be a specialized EMT. He also told me to use being an EMT not as a career, but a stepping-stone. If I get my EMT license, I can go down many other paths. He suggested search and rescue; I would start out in a voluntary group and be an EMT at the same time. Maybe someday get a dog and be a paid search and rescuer. I can also go for my pilot’s license if I like. And if I really want to go further he said I should join the National Guard, be a field medic or trauma medic, he said that’s the best. That’s right, National Guard! Its like hundreds light bulbs going off in my head all at once, I thought the only way for my dad to allow me to serve my country was to get into the academy, but now my dad said he would let me join the National Guard, how beautiful is that plan? Its everything I want. And I'm not done, while in school for being an EMT I'm going to get my degree in digital art/web design at the same time, because if anything I can make websites in my spare time (ha ha spare time, what’s spare time?) My dad owns five companies and he said if I get good he would hire me to do all of them and he would pay me thousands. I didn’t know web designers get paid thousands for simply designing and coding a webpage… I’ve been designing layouts for years…

     Anyway, the National Guard would offer a retirement program for me and all the benefits. I can also choose to work annually, two weeks a year, or monthly, two days and one weekend a month. This would let me serve and work as an EMT at the same time and only be called out in case of huge disaster or for my scheduled workdays.  

     The path isn’t set in stone, and more options may become available to me through the next couple years, but I think I'm going to go for it. Yes, I'm going for it. 

My Birthday!

     It’s been a good day; my Birthday fell on a Saturday this year that made it better ☺ Another thing that made my day better was all the cards I received! They really meant a lot to me, thank you so much!

Special thanks to:

Tyana from Creating Footprints for a beautiful card <3
Malanda (I think…) she didn’t give me her blog, but her card was super cute, made me laugh too!
April from Marine Parents Blog for a beautiful card and a gift card to my favorite Etsy shop!
Dana from A look into the Kroh's nest for pretty card with a wonderful bible verse written in it, I really appreciated it <3
Chavonne didn’t give me her blog either, but I appreciate the card!
Emily from Practically Pink for the lacy green card <3
And
Erin, Harriet, Petunia, and Meatball, from Popcorn, Pugs, & Peonies your card was adorable! And the glitter! Oh the glitter XD


      For my special day I went on a two hour horse back ride through the dessert, rode to the highest point in Saguaro National Park and watched most of the sun set from there. The whether was beautiful (for once) and after, we had a barbeque in the cottonwood grove. An absolute wonderful day ☺

im waring that darn basketball shirt again lol

Thank you all again for the Birthday wishes and cards, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate them all!

Made myself a new layout!

Stayed up late last night adding the finishing touches to my new layout :)

The coding for blogger is slightly confusing me, and trying to include the widgets in code was a challenge, i haven't figured out how to add widgets to the bottom of the page... but I got the side bar stuff down

The theme was heavily based off another blog I saw, but mine is still completely original, I used all my own stock photos and coded mine with a larger side bar, main body, and more over all awesomeness.

I chose rough wood for the background because i like the down to earth feeling it gave, I added a vintage map for my love of travel, and an American flag for my love of my country, to the left you will find a few ancient coins that represents my love for history, and of course the jeep logo to the right because i love my jeep :D the main body was made to look chaotic, busy, and messy, much like my real desk (he-he...) so I added bits of scrap paper, lined paper, and package paper. In the center of the header you will see a small blank space, I couldn't decide what to put there, so I left it as is, I kind of like it because it allows you to see the wood underneath, but if i change my mind something can be easily added.

Another thing was that Blogger requires you to have either a logo/banner or title for for your blog, but I built my banner into the background so I didnt need a logo, banner, or title. Oops. I fixed this by uploading a transparent image for the banner, it's there, can you see it? lol

Maybe one day I'll put an EMT logo in the blank space, or an service Academy logo. Im not putting Pima's logo there though...

You have to know when to stop…

As I’ve said before, its Academy application season again. Today I spent my entire four-hour study period writing over ten thousand words trying to perfect essay 1 of 5 for my application to the Coast Guard academy. I didn’t get any where (well, I got ten thousand words, but trust me, there not going anywhere). So I decided to go on to the U.S. military school forum to seek advice and examples. Big mistake. I came to the realization that I’m super under qualified. In fact, I’m so under qualified my application will most likely just amuse the nomination committee. It probably amused them last year too. So is there really any point in me even trying? About 2,800 students apply every year and only 400 are selected, this number includes those who are guaranteed admission from the prep school. You have to be the best of the best… and that’s only for Coast Guard, the Naval is like the immortal best of the best of the top 2% of the worlds smartest people ever in existence.  
< /exaggerated text of frustration>

I don’t know why, but every day being an EMT sounds better and better. Next semester I’m going to approach my parents with the ideal. Its not like I can just change my mind once I start… if I start. My dad wants me to be a digital artist/web designer, and I enjoy doing that stuff, but I despise desk jobs. I’ve contacted one of my friend from my youth group who is an EMT I’m going to talk to her about the pros and cons and what its like. She seems to enjoy her job, she admits that there are hard days and easy days and in the end they balance each other out, but isn’t every job like that?

I’m going to try and apply again this year; this feeling should only be a stage of the process. I kind of remember feeling this way last year at about this time, I need to ignore it. I’m going to send in all my information and just see how it goes. If it’s meant to be, it will happen, and if its not meant to be, well… it is what it is.

Finished my book

Khan: Empire of Silver: A Novel of the Khan Empire by Conn Iggulden

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


great sequel to the previous three books, i was a bit worried that book 4 wouldn't be as good as the others due to death of the main character in book 3 but i was pleasantly surprised with the content of book 4.

Iggulden keeps his quality of writing top notch with epic battles, politics, imagery, well developed characters, and a good solid pace. excellent read. Khan has found a place on my list of favorite books ever :)

up next on my list is "The Forgotten Legion" by Ben Kane. I chose this book because he (Ben Kane) appeared on Conn Iggulden's forum, and he seemed to be a bit popular, so I thought I would give his books a try. I checked out his website, he has a series based on ancient Rome (my favorite) and a new series coming out about Hannibal, so I chose the first book in his Rome series, I’ll see how I like it. After reading Conn’s ‘Emperor’ series based on ancient Rome, this book will have high standards to stand up to.

Award!

1.   Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them.

Thank you so much Tyana (from creatingfootprints) for giving me this J I cant really share it with every one, since you’re the only one who watches my blog… but thank you!

2.   Share 7 things about yourself

-I like to eat ice cream with a fork.

-My favorite genera of books to read are historical fiction.

-My favorite ice cream in mint chocolate chip, Breyers Mint chocolate chip, NOT Dryers.

-I’ve lived in the same city my whole life, and I still get lost.

-I would really like to serve in the Coast guard, Navy, or Air force.

-My favorite pet/hobby is fish keeping. But I’m not very good at it…

-I have a cat named mittens, a gold barb, and 2 desert tortoises named Caesar and Salad.

3. Pass the award along to 15 blogs that were recently discovered.

well, i only have 7 and one of them is the one who awarded me this, so here you go!

devilchasnme

freshroastedgraphics

marineparents

stormdrane

coldstart

theadventurouslifeofanairmansprincess

4. Contact each blogger you want to give the award to and let

 them know you have done so.

Here I go again!!

     Academy application season has officially started! i wont let my failure to be accepted last year bring me down. (period)

     This time around I'm applying to three of the academies rather than one, and i have successfully contacted all three of my senators this time, rather than just the two last time.

     I have applied for the U.S. naval academy again, and in addition, the U.S. Coast Guard, and U.S. Air force. I did not apply to the merchant marine or west point.

     I hope i get into the U.S. coat guard, the Naval was my first choice last year, but this year i think I like the Coast Guard more... they have the major i want and i can fly helicopters. and as much as I love to travel, i think staying at home (America) would be nice. (even though theres nothing like the feeling of coming home to America after a trip abroad. Its just as powerful of a feeling as coming home home. i love it.)

     The Naval academy is my obvious second. I always wanted to joint he Navy, i love there ships and to be stationed on an air craft carrier, Awesome! And i could still fly helicopters.

     I applied to the Air Force academy because it would help to get into flight school, its a branch i wasn't thinking about until this summer, i've volunteered at DM (Davis-Monthan) i really liked it. i think the air force could be for me. and i can fly helicopters.

     The reason for not applying to the other two academies, west point and the Merchant marine, was because of two problems, the first being that my dad wont let me join the army. no exceptions. why? i don't know. if i could, i would. the second reason being that because I'm already in college the Merchant Marine Academy has special standards that i don't meet... yet. i have to of completed pre-calc and calc, along with chem. but as soon as i get those done, I'm applying. Too bad I'll be in one of the other academies, so i cant apply there :) theres no helicopters there anyway.

i found my quiet place...

     School is going well, I’ve said it before and I will say it again, I really enjoy college! I’m not having any difficulties so far and I enjoy going every day. The workload is heavier but I found a nice quiet spot in the library where I can grind away at it for hours, I wrote an essay on Galileo Galilei and finished my math homework today alone. (woohooo I can do home work….!....?)

     Our (Pima’s) library has two white noise machines in the back for quite study, there pretty neat; I was examining them today with Google goggles.

They look like this:

     I’m not too sure on how they work; I guess they make noise to cover up the other noise… Standing next to it, it sounds like a fan/air conditioner/the wind. Supposedly the consistent sound of rushing air covers up the other noise, and it “relaxes” you. I don’t know if I would go as far as saying it soothes you, but I must say, they do work. The noise from the commons is covered completely. Is this why I work well in the quit zone of the library? Ha ha ha (I hope not)

     In art class today we watched a film on Banksy, I’m sure you’ve heard of him (what? You haven’t? Google. Right now. Go!) He’s a famous street artist, he’s tagged walls all over the world, in fact, when I went to Paris this summer I saw some of his work, and others like Space invader, and Obey. Any way, we watched a documentary on him and his work and my teacher gave us this assignment based off the move. We have to make a public display of our art, that’s legal. My sister and I hatched this ideal to make signs that say something along the lines of “Vote A. Rix for president 2012” or “Vote *insert something witty* for president 2012” and post them all over the place. Taking into account that the presidential election is on its way, and Ron Paul has signs all over the city already, why not put our signs next to his?  At the same time I think these signs (should we choose to do this) should be artsy and not be placed to confuse the public, because that’s not what I want to do, it should portray a message. And we would only leave them up for a day or two, not long, don’t want to make too much of a scene…

     The argument of “is graffiti art?” yes and no. I believe spray painting private walls and tagging buildings it vandalism. But I believe its also art. I can fully appreciate graffiti art, but only if it’s in a respectful location, what Banksy does in my opinion is definitely art, is it all respectful? No. I strongly disagree with some of his tagging locations (like Disney land), but at least he’s neat about it, he uses paper a lot of the time so it can be easily removed. But walking around and seeing little pieces of art in a gray city is nice, I appreciate that very much.

    Now all I want know is how in the world did he paint that elephant! 

Sharp sorrow. Painful regret.

I just found out my dog, Fluffy, had to put to sleep last Thursday. My parents decided not to tell me until now. She had been living at my grandparent’s house because it wasn't safe at our house for her; coyotes had attacked her twice, so we moved her. I'm not totally distraught, I think this is because I knew she was old and sick and her time was coming. I just didn’t want to admit it or accept it. I’m really upset that she’s gone now, I really love her, and I will miss her so much. She was a good dog, very loyal and obedient, and always so excited to see me come home.

I really wanted to take her up to the mountain for a walk, but I never got around to it, and when I did she was sick and I couldn’t put her through that. But I bet she would have really enjoyed a walk on the mountain and I really regret not being able to take her.

I also regret not being there to say goodbye. My grandparents were the ones who took her to the vet for the last time, and with Fluffy being my dog I would of wanted to be there with her. But no one bothered to tell me they were taking her. I suppose that’s for the best, it would of hurt more to say goodbye.

I remember her favorite tricks were beg and shake. She started begging all the time, just on her own, and she was so cute, you couldn’t resist giving her something. And she gave a really good handshake. And she would come whenever I called her, immediately, she would even come when I snapped for her. She was really good.  I hope she lived a good life. I hope she knows that I love her and that I am really, really, really, missing her.

Remembering 9/11

"911 was one of the saddest days in American History. On 9/11 moment of silence is a must because we have to remember all of those who died, pay a tribute to them, and to thanks all of those who did everything possible to save as many people as possible. One man can never forget  September 11 2001 because the world has changed then. Everything has changed since 9/11/01."  -Dragos Pirvu – Senior Editor huffington post.

     September 11th 2001 was a tragic day in our nations history and according to just about every  American citizen, we can all agree and promise to Never forget what happened on this day. Today being the 10th anniversary, its was very touching to see us American reach out to each other and stay strong, watching the highlights on the television brought back reasons to pray and renewed the American spirit in all us. 

     But heres what disturbs me, does any one remember this quote?

"Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan." -Franklin Roosevelt

     Do we remember this day? its hardly mentioned any more, and if you ask your average young person on the street what day the attack on Pearl Harbor happened, they more likely than not wont be able to tell you. Pearl Harbor was also an attack on the united states, 2402 people lost there lives.

     Let us promise never to forget 9/11 and all the lives lost, lets be sure the date and it's importance is not lost in the generations. lets keep the younger generations informed and keep the fire inside all of us alive.

     It's important that we never forget, and we have to mean it when we say it. It doesn't end there either, when you say WE will never forget, it means WE. We need to inform future generations, it's now our responsibility that every generation knows the significants of this day even if they weren't alive when it happened, and it didn't effect them personally. 

     Another point i need to address is to forgive. I didn't understand this at first. Why would you forgive some one who did this to us? But it's important. Forgiveness is everything. I bet those who were around for Pearl Harbor would never think about forgiving Japan, but aren't we best friends with Japan now? We fought, we won. We eliminated the base threat, so now its time to forgive. 

Remembering 9/11... As we forgive.

New phone, and a trip to the art museum

    Okay, lets see here...

     I got myself a new phone! i know what your thinking "you never carried around your old phone, so why would you get a new one?!" because new phones are fun! but no, well yes, any way, my old phone reset itself to factory default so i lost everything and i was affraid to put any information back inside of it because i thought it may be rigged (cant think of a better word). I like the new phone and i really do believe i will be taking it every where with me, like i should. my new goal: carry my cell phone with me.

     I know i told myself not to long ago that i am not going to buy another fish. but i LOVE fish keeping and i really want another beta. if not a beta, maybe another fish for my tropical tank, i only have one gold barb in there and he needs some tank mates. i love beta fish. i know i can care for them, i used to keep several at a time and they always thrived, and when i say thrive, i'm talking 5+ years of life. i know i can do it. i just don't know what i've been doing wrong. Centurion is still int he freezer, my mom wont take him out and i don't have the inner strength to throw his body away. i feel like a failure enough just by taking him out of the tank never less throwing him away....

     But i still want another.

     As for my future, i really like the ideal of being a helicopter EMT pilot for the hospital, it combines my favorite second choices, serving and flying. to fly the helicopter would be great, i would really like that, and i'm already considering being an EMT so why not put them together? sounds like a good job in my opinion. i still have a lot of research to do on that subject, and others. i wish i could make up my mind on what i want to do with my life before it becomes too late. 

     I'm still going to apply for the Academies again. 

     My art class took a field trip to the UoA art museum today, it was fun getting out of the class room. i met up with Chris there, that was fun. he's such a goof. the gallery was quiet and Chris was being himself, loud and speaking his opinion. he was shushed once, and 'yelled' at by the staff for getting too close to a painting. He's definitely a handful, but I love him (in a NAC sister/brother kind of way). he really does brighten up an afternoon. I really enjoyed his company, i hope we can do it again some time. 

     After, i took Ashley to work the football game at Sabino for Java Edge, i hear they only made like $30 the whole night. but it was raining pretty hard. i stayed in my care with Mom and waited. we were going to go in to see the game, but it was canceled because of lighting and we didnt want to get wet so we just stayed in the car, fine by me, i had a new phone to play with XD

When I grow up, I want to be...

I hate it when people ask me what my major is in college and i have to respond "I'm still undecided..." I cant believe I don't know what I want to do with my life. Well, I know what I want to do, theres just SO many chices and I dont know what path to go down.

  I love science, chemistry and biology were my favorite subject in school for as long as i can remember. Could I get a job that relates to these things? I don't know. And what type of schooling would it require? Math is not my strongest subject and i'm afraid i'm not smart enough.

  Art is a newfound interest of mine, digital really, and computer coding, you know, web design, coding layouts. But the competition in this field is so stiff and theres hundreds of people out there WAY better then me... I don't know if I would make it. I don't even know if i'm even any good at it.

  What i really want to do more then anything though, is serve in the military, I want this with a passion, I love my country and it wold give me no greater honor then to defend her. But my dad wont let me. He said the only way he would let me join was if i made into one of the Academies. psh. ME qualifying to attend one of the service Academies!? what?
I tried any way. My desire was that strong. I went through the whole process just to hit a brick wall at 200 mph when I wasn't able to obtain a congressional nomination. 

  So here i am. an 18 year old with aspirations to go to one of the elite service academies and i end up at Pima. With an 'undecided' major. At pima. A community college. :(  Oh Pima...

  Any way, I was sitting at Pima waiting for my CIS 100 class to start, and I met an EMT student (He asked if he could take my blood pressure. I have perfect blood pressure, so he told me. FYI) and I began thinking, EMT! I could be an EMT, its a form of service and its not a desk job. I would really like that i think. So I looked it up in the course catalog, and i felt it was a little too 'doctory' for lack of a better word. keeping air ways open and emergency stuff like that. I think I could do it. I really like the whole EMT description, but... I just don't know yet. 

  Firefighter came to my mind too, that seems a little bit more 'me' I think. but are there girl fire fighters? I don't know. 

  I know i don't want to be a doctor, but EMT seems like a possibility for me. Maybe. I don't know...I feel so lost...

  Who knows where life will take me. I just hope it does take me. I'm still going to apply for the academies next year. I'm not giving up on that until all hope is lost. 

Just arrived home from a trip to El Paso. And what do I find?

Centurion is dead. of course he is. The fish gods are out to punish me remember? I’ve been cursed, I know it. Talk about the absolute worst thing to come home to. (I know its not the worst but for this blogs sake, its the worst)

     I feel super depressed right now. I’m not going to get another fish for a long time. I become way too attached and when they die I feel like a failure. it was my fault, I probably messed something up. Could I of saved him? What did I do wrong? I loved that little guy.

     I put him in a plastic bag and placed him in the freezer, all by myself. this is an accomplishment, I usually have my mom do it because I cant stand handle 'taking care of' my dead pet. I’m just not strong enough. But I did it this time.

Roses and thorns

     Well, what do i say? or rather, where to begin? my life has been full of roses and thorns since my last post, but again who's life isn't full of roses and thorns? hmmm....

     I graduated! i will forever and always miss being a Sabercat at Sabino High School, i will miss my teachers, being with my friends and most of the basketball team and my coach  :'( 


     But, because High School is over, i got a graduation present that stomps all other graduation presents into the ground, i went to EUROPE! Talk about an AMAZING trip! i saw Rome, Florence, Assisi, Pisa, Wengen, Paris, and London <3 Rome was my favorite, i just cant get enough of there history, its mind blowing! its a beautiful continent if i do say so myself, and i will say so myself.


I swear, the only shirts i ever where are free and are about Sabino and/or Sabino Basketball :P

     Im not going to go into great detail about my trip, and ill leave ranting about a certain demented person for another post ^.^ but i will say that as Amazing Europe was it was an overwhelming feeling of joy to come back home, to America that is. we landed in Texas to catch a flight to Tucson, and we had and hour and half+ layover, but i was so giddy and excited to be back in America! i got me some Starbucks, and walked around with the absolute biggest smile on my face, just so happy to be there. i thanked ever service man and women i saw and was on cloud 9. no joke. 

     Coming back from Europe things settle down then kept sinking down. i was trapped in a multimillion dollar home and i wanted out. i needed a car :P and a job, i wanted to do something. the days were long and boring, just like every summer I suppose. 

BUT THEN

     I got a car! but not just ANY CAR a 07-11 JEEP WRANGLER SPORT!!!!!!!!!!!! now all i need is a german Shepard named Army and i can officially die happy (happy enough)  i already added my American flag to the left side, interior handles and such, and the most amazing BA trunk organizer <3 i don't have photos of any of these yet, but i have the before shot:





     Now all she needs is a name :) and other enhancements of course but those will come with time ;D

     Now, enough with all the Roses, time to get on with the thorns, leav this entry off on a sour note, you know what i mean? D:<

     Well, my new favorite fish that i was so happy to own and i loved so much, died. Denarius is gone :'( so get this, i bought a new Betta fish a few weeks later, one that looked like him because i really did love him more then any other fish since Squirt. i named this one Centurion, and i love him <3 he has such a personality! but just a few days ago he started showing signs of fin rot. now he has fin rot, AND pinecone! Pinecone! what the heck!?! right now he's just sitting at the top of the tank trying to breath. i don't know what to do. this really pisses me off. how can my moms betta fish tassel be left on the kitchen counter all day, be fed if its luck and not have her water changed until its evaporated so low she barley has room to turn around, and still be healthy!? while i take care of my fish every day, clean his tank at least once a week and they get sick and die. i don't understand. i used to be able to keep hundreds of fish at a time and have them all be healthy. Rainbow, he lived for 5 years! and recently i haven't kept one since then for over 1 year :( the fish gods are angry at me or something. it only hurts because i become attached and then they die. and i feel like a failure. 

     My red platty also died a few days ago.

     I guess thats not too many thorns. some people may think i don't have the right to complain lol oh well, i guess thats why my life is good. if only my fish would stop dyeing....